If I ran my life like I use the internet

7:34 am- Wake up. Read newspaper. Look out window to see if neighbours are having sex.

8:09 am- Get on bus to go to work. Tell everyone on bus my status.

8:32 am- Arrive at work then immediately go down to the mall to bookstore and order several second-rate DVDs.

8:56 am- Get back to work and phone my friend in the Netherlands. Chat for an hour.

10:10 am- Go down to the street and put up pictures of my vacation to Cabo in the hopes that people will write comments on them.

12:43: pm- Sit down with a stranger in the food court and ask her if she wants to talk about doing sexual things with me.

2:21 pm- See if anyone is having sex in the breakroom.

4:45 pm- Go from office to office looking at other people's pictures and telling those people what I think of them.

5:32 pm- Go home. Attempt to increase the size of my erection.